I love my body! Why is this a secret you might ask?
I was, up until somewhat recently, quite ashamed of my body and not caring for it at all. I was hugely resistant to even having a body let alone loving my body. When I say body love I mean the kind of loving where you feel like your body is a sexual organ in every walk of life and you honor it totally. The kind of body love that attracts lust and pleasure, the kind of body love that heals and changes the world!
Through deep exploration and seeking consciousness in every area of my life, I discovered how much body shut down and judgment I had hidden away and functioned from.
So hidden that I didn’t even realize it was there, I just lived totally at the effect of it.
When someone would admire or care for my body I would slightly or not so slightly reject it rather than receive it while at the same time desperately desiring to be admired. Crazy.
When I married my husband I found a man who would love me beyond all my limitations and all the body rejection and wrongness. All of the judgments and energies I had been secretly hiding away all of a sudden became unavoidably evident.
When this happened, my body would turn on and become more energetic and beautiful and I struggled with the resistance and desire. I didn’t want to have a bitch fight with the women on the planet nor be eye-raped by the men. So my best choice was to just shut off the body so as not to elicit any difficult situations.
I noticed every time my husband would just want to touch and hold me I could find a million reasons for why I didn’t want it.
It was too hot, I was to full, he smelled bad, it was inappropriate in public, it wasn’t the right time and so on and so on.
But when I really looked deeper at what I was choosing I found that what I was really doing was preventing my husband from setting my body free.
From turning my body on beyond where I could control it and giving me access to all the energy, bliss, pleasure, caring and power that my body processed.
So I had two choices. I could reject that which was bringing to light all that had been so unconsciously hidden away for how many lifetimes, that was creating pain in my body? Or I could bite the metaphorical bullet and see what life was like stripped bare of my body shame, wrongness and defence.
What I discovered was these ANTI-body judgments and programs hidden away in my world making me reject having my beautiful, kind, tolerant and ever giving body.
The ANTI-body judgment that bodies were shameful, gross and that most of all my body was untouchable and even deeper these blocks to orgasm and pleasure that had no logic or thought to them, they just popped up whenever my body was about to be too happy or too full of pleasure and stopped the whole party.
Every time I wanted to look at where these limitations were coming from it was a minefield of confusion and emotions that usually ended with me creating separation and shutting people out from loving me, caring for my body or helping me at all.
The truly sad part of this is that it’s not an uncommon phenomenon, this is a somewhat universally shared behavior and reality by many women and even men.
So how does one move beyond seemingly impossible body judgment and disconnection?
!!Enter the Access Consciousness Body Tools!!
And let me tell you, even if you have enjoyed your body up until this point you have felt nothing until you gain the kind of access to your body these body tools and processes create.
Seemingly impossible difficulties with the body disappear and a lightness, joy and caring emerge.
One of the primary things I have been listening to my father (Founder of Access Consciousness) say for many years was, ‘Life was about getting the greatness of embodiment.’ I had no clue what he meant by that until I started to gain these inroads of access to my body.
And I don’t just mean my tangible body, with skin and organs, you know ‘that body’. I mean the whole zone of awareness I embody, including the earth and all of its creatures. I started to get how aware my body was and how much of that awareness I had mistook as my body’s stuff. I would pick up on other people’s body judgments and take them home with me and own them totally.
When I started asking ‘Who does this belong to?’ it was mind blowing how much my body was picking up on that I was not acknowledging as awareness.
I had totally misunderstood my bodies way.
My body was telling me stuff with all the pain and feelings it was having, I was just misinterpreting it.
Bit by bit my willingness to have my body grew and all the lifetimes of sexual and physical wrongness, let down, betrayal, shut down, abuse, you name it started to unravel and what I found beyond that was a happy body that was so giving, so full of joy and so pleasurable that it almost felt wrong. NO WAIT!!! That’s the judgment I was talking about =))))))
So when is the time for body love and reverence not body judgment and criticism?
What if we could change the world with the way we embody? What if a truly happy body can change the world?
What gift is your body desiring to give you that you can receive now? Even if it’s naughty =)