For most of my life I can recall having pain and tension in my stomach. It had always been there, cramping and hurting me.
Supressing my body's awareness
As I got older I started using drugs and then alcohol to get away from the pain. This went on for a lot of years and when I could no longer get away from the stomach pain I sought other answers. The furthest I could get with those answers, was that I must diet. So I would change what I ate and still the pain persisted. I then thought I must be eliminating the wrong foods or not eating the right foods or not doing the right exercise. I went on every and any diet you could imagine. I tried every alternative thing I could find.
I tried homeopathy, Chinese medicine, Ayurveda, fasting, juicing, cleansing, parasite cleansing, yoga, Pilates, running, reiki, massage, physiotherapy, psychotherapy, gluten-free, dairy-free, vegetation, you name it, I did it in spades. But even with occasional reprieve, the pain and tension would inevitably return.
Who does This Belong To?
Meanwhile I had also been learning about the idea of ‘who does this belong to?’. Which is basically the awareness that you are aware and picking up on everyone else’s thoughts, feelings and emotions like a psychic sponge. I started practicing asking, who does this belong to, for every thought, feeling and emotion I had with incredible results. As soon as I asked the question, if it wasn’t mine it totally lightened up.
Yet the stomach pain persisted and persisted. It would lighten up slightly and come back full throttle whereas I was having huge success with ‘who does it belong to’ regarding feeling and emotions.
Fast forward, to a holiday in Australia in 2011.
I awoke one morning before the sun due to jet lag. I was standing in the kitchen at first light and all the sudden a pain came into my stomach. This was the first time I really noticed it not being there and then all of a sudden it was there! It was so black and white that I could not brush it out of my awareness. So I asked quietly in my head “who’s is this?”.
Then I heard faintly two mens voices talking down the road. As soon as my attention went to these men the pain in my stomach completely disappeared.
And then I got it! Wow this was my body telling me about what was going on with these men and their density. My body had been communicating this information to me all of my life about different bodies and people and I had never made the connection that it was my body giving me information. This was the first time I got the depth of awareness my body really had and how lightning quick it was.
In addition to getting for the first time how dynamic and quick my bodies awareness was, I started getting how intense all this awareness was. I had to really be present and relax as I sensed what was going on for these men down the road who I didn’t even know.
If I took my attention off of them my stomach began to cramp, if I kept my attention present with them just being there listening to their faint voices, my stomach pain would soften. Allowing myself to be aware of them, I could sense how angry one of the men was. There was no logical explication for this I just started knowing what was going on with these men in ways they probably didn’t even acknowledge for themselves.
After a few minutes of being intensely present with my body and the men down the street the energy began to dissipate and my stomach was completely free.
Acknowledging My Body's Awareness
The awareness my body was giving me in its stomach didn’t stop after that but this was the beginning of practicing honouring my bodies awareness and thanking it for the info rather than mistaking it as mine and dreading it without end.
Acknowledgment of my body’s awareness completely transformed the way I lived my life. I became pro-active about acknowledging awareness rather than seeking the ever-escape of awareness I had practised for so much of my life previously.
As soon as my stomach started hurting I had to start looking at what my body was telling me and let me tell you what! The level of upset, anger, force and judgment that I began to have to acknowledge in people’s spaces was astronomical. It was almost unbelievable to me. Yet the more I acknowledged it and was in allowance of it the less and less my stomach hurt.
There is so much we are aware of yet how many of us are taught how to deal with it other than to shut off from it in whatever way we can. This ‘shut off’ however does have side effects, like my tummy hurting for example.
I won’t lie, as I began to practice acknowledging awareness it was not easy, but like with all things the more I did it the easier and better at it I got.
Is there anything going on in your body that might be your awareness of the world around you?
Body born happy and over the next 15 years taking body completely for granted never realizing or acknowledging that the energy, health and ease it had was a gift that would only be sorely missed once gone.
Years 15 to 25 spent subjecting my body to all sorts of abuses from drugs, alcohol and over/under eating to bad sex and massive self judgment.
By age 26 I had been doing so many Access Body Processes that my body simply took over and started forcing me to listen to it. I would love to say that in my own good sound mind I chose to listen to my body but no. It was my body’s voice that became so loud that I could no longer disregard and ignore it.
I then had to make a real choice, did I want this body? If I could not ignore it anymore, did I want to deal with it? The consciousness and voice the body processes had given my body was forcing me to choose something I had not been willing to look at. The fact that I actually had this body that was not what I had ever realized it was.
I begin to realize my body was a great gift of living that was designed for pleasure, joy, awareness, creation and consciousness. Was I willing to have this? For if I was willing to have this I would have to start not only discovering my body’s mysteries and true gifts but also fully receive them. I had been pushing them aside and assigning labels of pain or discomfort to them. Shaming my body’s ways and consciousness and resisting ever really succumbing to them. Strangest of all, I didn’t even know why.
Through receiving loads and loads of the Access body work and of course making other choices for my body (like choosing the right lovers for my body) a different body reality began to emerge. My body glowed and any and all aches, pains and sickness had to be seen as my bodies awareness of something, not actual problems.
Will my body live forever? We’ll have to see. Will I never have an ache, pain or sickness ever again? Probably not. My progress at this point is that my body is happy, for real. And when I do something that infringes on that happiness my body tells me in no uncertain terms who the boss is.
Join me in the magic the body can be and use the Access Body Processes to get there.
What if the whole point of life was to have the greatness of embodiment?
Are you living?
To dive deeper into unlocking the magic and mystery of the body please enjoy this free talk myself (Shannon) and several other amazing Access Body Class facilitators created by CLICKING HERE
To find Shannon’s amazing body classes around the world CLICK HERE
Sex and relationship can be an illustrious and treacherous area. Booby traps (no pun intended ? of judgment, insecurity, power, closure, defence and need just around every corner. And it can also be an expansive gift that touches us in ways that so many of us deeply desire. So to begin with, would you be willing to destroy and uncreate everything that relationship is to you?
I was 15 years old and trying really hard to fit in with the vibe that was going on all around me. Plenty of talk amongst my friends of ‘hooking up’, ‘getting it in’, ‘I’d fuck her’ and being cool enough to qualify for the desirable and elusive girl.
These vibes never felt right to me but sex was still on my mind in a big way. Hell, even in 6th grade all I thought about was having sex with the student teacher! Testosterone was pumping through my veins and the urge to play with female bodies was almost unbearable.
Me teenage sex years were a tumult of the points of views of the other males in my life and my knowing that something greater was possible yet never knowing how to get there. My fathers self worth was founded on his capacity with money and the looks of the woman on his arm, my friends wanted to stick it in wherever and however they could and pornography only showed sexual excitation through judgment, force and violence.
Needless to say, my sexual desire did not fit any of the pictures I saw all around me.
At one time, I had found sex stories on the internet and was a big fan of reading whatever I could get my hands on. I masturbated for the first time when I was 15 and felt terrible about myself when my mother found me reading these stories in my bedroom (In hindsight what was really the problem!? Did I do something wrong with my big bad penis?). If only I had known the tool ‘Who does this belong’ to when I was 15?!
I have since come to realise that so many of the twists, shutdowns and judgments of sex that I thought belonged to me were actually an awareness of other peoples’ heads all around me, especially those closest to me.
I went on to having small encounters with girls at school. From being too shy to kiss my first girlfriend at 15 to losing my virginity at 17. Anxiety, shutdown and intense desire would be the closest words to describing my life at the time. Can any of you guys relate??
Even to this day I am still getting clear on what it is to be a man. Are men the perpetrators of the diminishment of women? Are women ever the diminishers of women? If we are truly all infinite beings, what is all this circus about gender wars, abuse & perpetration?
As a humanoid man I have had even less of a clue of how to deal with women. I always had to be in judgment of myself to determine whether I was wrong or right. Would I make the right choice or the wrong choice? Will I get the sex right or will I fail? Will I fulfill this woman’s desires or will I fail? I could never be myself. And heads up to all the men reading this…. This is never a turn-on to women!
This is where the tool of ‘Interesting Point of View’ becomes really handy. When you are totally head-tripping (thinking a lot!) yourself into being the most repulsive man on earth, say to yourself, “Hey, what if this is only an interesting point of view that I am being the most repulsive man to the female race?” Rather than perpetually judging yourself into thinking that your judgment will one day make you a better man.
And a side note on the tool… what if you were being ‘interesting point of view’ about your judgments and then had every choice available to you? What would be possible then?
From my early 20’s I explored many modalities to find out what could be possible with sex, women and relationship. I did years of men’s groups, men’s & women’s work, tantra classes and self-judgment. Oh, did I mention I judged myself a lot? I really couldn’t get it right, no matter what I did.
I had few relationships before meeting my first wife at 23 and being a father at age 25. That’s right, my first child 15 months after we first met! A long time before that I had decided that I would definitely be a father and that this would make me a more important person. Interesting point of view I had that point of view!
When I met my current wife, Shannon, my life was going down hill fast. I had plenty of great ideas of what could work in relationship and never the balls to apply them. It was at this point that I recognised that one of the gifts a woman can be to a man is to never accept less from him than what he is capable of.
She saw more in me than I had ever been willing to truly acknowledge before. And she would accept nothing less than my commitment to my life and what I knew.
If you are a man reading this, have you ever noticed the desire to be everything you can be in your relationship?… in your life?… for your woman?… and for the world?
Has that been available to you before? Have you been successful with this in your life?
It wasn’t until I found Access Consciousness that I could be everything that I am and like Dr Dain Heer says, “It never looks like you thought it would!”
Like it or not, there is nothing like a vagina to inspire a man to greatness. And by ‘vagina’, I mean the vitality and light of being alive and the force of the living earth. AND I mean vaginas. The ones that walk around in pants.
Women, here is a secret about men. You have the power to inspire a man to greatness or to crush him to dust… What would you have to receive about you to inspire a man to be all he can be? Do you desire more from him than you are willing to admit? What will it take for you to have what you desire with a man?
Are you willing to inspire a man to greatness by whatever means you have available to you? Are you willing to challenge him to a degree of greatness that he would otherwise shy away from? Vaginas are one of the most powerful tools on earth, speaking for all men, please use them wisely.
After three-and-a-half years of being with Shannon now, through the good times and bad, I am more aware than ever of the possibilities that a committed relationship can create. Not just a commitment to the other person, but a commitment to your own life.
Do you commit to the energies that create separation? Or do you commit to the energies that create greater intimacy? Whether you choose to be single or in relationship, it is the same choice. A commitment to your life.
What would you truly like to create?
If you would like to learn more about sex and relationship please check out these amazing products:
MORE SEX & RELATIONSHIP PLEASE!
By the time I got to the age where a relationship with a man was even on my radar I was totally clueless. The urge, need and ever-present awkward desire for “something” with a man seemed to occupy every space of my life.
It started with my brother’s friends, finding ways to sneak out to spend time with them when they were over with no awareness of what I was after or what I wanted if I even found it.
As I grew older my bodies desires coupled with social influence pushed me to declare that I had to have sex before I was 18!
Where did this choice come from? Was I making it cause I knew that sex before I was 18 would create the most for me, really benefit my life in the most supportive way? Unfortunately no. I stumbled into it half blind and completely stoned. Self-introspection was nowhere to be found.
So I did it, I “lost” my virginity a few days before my 18th birthday to a really gentle, kind slightly older guy
who I preceded to completely ignore for the rest of my time at school with him. I was so disconnected to the whole experience. If there was any pleasure or joy in it I didn’t notice. It was not awful but it was certainly not what I have grown to know is possible in sex and relationship. It was the first time for me in this body and I wish I knew then what I know now. I would have screwed that kind, gentle faced guy way more. But alas, only the once for us.
I then proceeded over the next 14 years to stumble in and out of one-night stands, short-lived relationships and some longer term ones. I would always precede on with these guys with no clear choice in sight, impelled by need, validation and other forces of my subconscious. Getting into something with one man, sometimes if I was lucky enjoying some part of it and other times quite literally not enjoying a single part of it besides the initial flirtation. Why did I carry on you may ask? Well this is the million-dollar question. Why do so many of us continuously search for a mate, a companion?
Someone to be with or just to have sex with?
Is it a biological drive to perpetuate the species? Is it ever a creative, conscious choice for some? And if it is a conscious choice for some, what are they choosing for?
So as I grew into a woman I was simultaneously doing Access Consciousness®. When most of my peers were out getting drunk or having sloppy sex somewhere at college I was spending my days running bars and seeking to look ever deeper at the truth behind everything. Not the most common twenty-something thing to do. Not the most common any age thing to do.
So I was learning about consciousness from my step dad Gary and through life of course. I was learning how not to divorce myself in relationship and how certain choices created more or less consciousness depending on what they were.
I was learning how to be aware of what was going on in the bodies and universes of the people I was choosing as sex or relationship partners, not always the easy way.
I was learning what was true for me rather then constantly seeking to match some picture of what I had been sold about relationship. One man after another taught me what I liked and what I didn’t like. Gary taught me that if I was not happy, change something. That I always had choice and more importantly what choices created and was I choosing from my reality or someone else's?
I even at times thought perhaps I don’t desire relationship. It seemed that relationship was the cause of so much unhappiness and trouble for myself and others.
Yet secretly I deeply still desired relationship, but to what means and ends?
And then I met my husband. The circumstances of our meeting were not ideal. I was living thousands of miles away on another continent at the tail end of a failing relationship and he was married with two small children at the tail end of a failing marriage. I was seeking ever forwards but for what, I was not sure. He was also seeking and always with the accompaniment of a life time of parents telling him he should fit only into their point of view and wife who only wanted what she wanted and forever withholding with total expectation of him giving up everything for her. And he did. When I met my beautiful man he was a shadow of himself. Yet the deeply kind, intelligent, creative, handsome man still shone through.
We wound up socialising without much intention and both of us could sense a deep yearning developing between us.
And so we stood before two paths. One would take us down a more acceptable road where we would shake hands as friends and carry on with our separate lives… thinking every now and then of that quick, fleeting spark that we had once with that lovely person.
Or another path that has taken us to where we are today, happily married and getting better and better all the time.
Now did he and my magical fairytale happen just by accident? Fuck no! And in fact this is better then a fairytale, this is a real-life practical relationship were both parties consciously choose to participate in the growth for better.
Now have we always been on the same page about what growth for better was? Fuck no!
Have we both had to commit to changing at our very deepest core, fuck yes!
Would I have it any other way? Fuck no!
Have I wanted to throw in the towel at many points along the way, fuck yes!
Did I? Momentarily.
And then I began to recognise this funny thing. I began to recognise what was true for me. I began to recognise the invaluable gift my husband was and is to me. I also began to recognise my inability to receive the great gift he is and was. I began noticing my automatic reactions that would drive him away and ultimately hurt me. Anything to not receive it. I always had the best reasons of course for why he was wrong and why I should separate from him. He was selfish or inconsiderate or not devoted enough or to stupid or, or, or………….? Girl’s you know what I mean?
Side note, in my years as a facilitator I have found that this is a common phenomenon with women. They have a beautiful, kind and devoted man who desires nothing more than to make her happy and she refuses it. To both of their detriment. (I am not saying that all men are a beautiful amazing gift to women and I will leave my husband to discuss that with you)
Back to me, I started acknowledging how much had changed in my life and especially with my body with the presence of my husband. I was softer and having more ease and peace. The ever present low-grade anxiety was gone, I had peace. ALERT, there must be something wrong! Nope, there was something right.
Using the tools and processes of Access got us through all the seemingly impossible insanity of relationship. My husband and I will both attest that our relationship would not be possible without the intervening of Gary and the power tools of Access.
Tool #1, don’t give you up to make the other person happy. Don’t become what you think they want. Be you, it is a greater gift then anything in the universe.
Tool #2,Honor the other person. Don’t expect and project them to fulfil your needs and wants. Ask, seduce, invite them into your life and be grateful every step of the way. (This is one I am still working on).
Tool #3, Never stop creating. As soon as a relationship goes on maintenance mode it is doomed. If you are not happy, create beyond it. Keep interested and present with your partner. Unless you only desire a little intimacy, then just be a little present with your partner.
Tool #4,Don’t expect them to make you happy and be everything for you. Your happiness or lack of happiness is your responsibility, no one else’s. Happiness is inviting, sad just sucks for everyone.
Tip #5,Choose someone who makes your life better. Someone who gives you greater access to you. Also be that person who allows the other to have all of them even if you think you are going got loose because of it. Be willing to loose, then only then can you truly gain.
Tool #6,Care more than anyone can stand, even you.
I was a little freaked out becoming a stepparent even though the parent who had the most positive and supportive influence on my life had been my stepfather.
Being a stepparent has so many taboos attached to it. Hell being a parent at all has so many taboos attached to it.
For me, I was not sure in the beginning what I was allowed to be for my step kids.
If I was stepping on any one's toes or to what depth I was allowed to connect and be a part of their lives.
And then would they even like me?
What if it didn’t work out between us, what would my then-boyfriend and I do?
I had to look at what kind of parent I wanted to be and would raising these children from a young age work in my life? (Hint, asking questions of your self and the Universe before making big choices can create a lot of awareness).
Many people sort of stumble into parenthood and I know many others do plan. And for me, I had the advantage of looking at the reality of what raising these kids would be like.
I had a chance to get to know them as already in the world-developed people (well as much as a 5 and 7-year-old can be). I didn’t have to birth them and then get to know what having children was like. I got to experience what living with these children was like before, should I say, I committed.
I had to look at what the reality of co-parenting with my then boyfriend would be like. And what more or less co-parenting with my stepkids mom who was not my biggest fan, to put it mildly, would also be like. And what marrying into his family would be like. Like my stepfather thought me, you don’t just marry the person you marry their whole family.
Without the tools of Access Consciousness®, I would have given up long before I was able to succeed in creating some of the most beautiful deeply touching relationships of my life with my stepchildren.
Stepparents get such a bad rap; there is the stereotypical evil Disney stepmother. So often when a stepparent joins the family that stepparent receives all the already pre-existing family’s projections, expectations and so on. The stepparent has to adjust to the already existing family dynamic.
I had to look at being a contribution without losing me in the face of everyone else’s hopes, dream, projections, expectations, and judgments. Fortunately, the children in question didn’t have any, I love kids that way. I had to look at what these children would face from their mother's Universe and how to make it all as easy on all of us as possible. I am happy to report that it was not only possible but highly successful.
I had the advantage of having a magical stepparent, not the stereotypical one. My stepfather literally saved my life and facilitated me to have all of me in the world in ways that quite frankly I doubt few others could. Having stepchildren myself now, I am only just getting the depth of commitment he made to me as a child and the sacrifices he made for me along the way.
Having my stepfather as an example of a parent gave me the strength to have patience with me and my new kids as we learned how to receive and be with one another. Those little kids sure did teach me how to receive in a whole new way with their kind open hearts and personalities.
My stepfather taught me to never enforce my point of view on the kids but rather ask them what they wanted me to be for them. To be generous with them, with my being and money and to never make them feel like they come second. Children need to know they come first, that they are valuable and a contribution to the world.
To all the stepparents of the world who are raising other people’s children, what gift or addition can you be to your children’s lives? How lucky are these kids who get more than two parents and double birthday and Christmas?
If you are a good stepparent you have mastered the art of familial diplomacy, generosity of spirit and learned to be bigger than your own personal problems. I aspire to be half as good a stepparent as my own stepfather. I know then that I will be a gift beyond reckoning to my stepchildren.
What would it be like if we lived in a world where every child was empowered to know that they know? To know that they can be and create anything they choose? A world where they are given access to the tools that would allow them to create that?
Whether you’re a teacher, parent, step-parent, sibling, someone who works with kids in any capacity, or even if you’ve ever been a child this call is for you:
Well at least that’s what I used to think. Bodies can be such an interesting topic and one wrought with so many issues. It wasn’t even until my literally 10th year doing Access Consciousness®, that I started to begin to even realize what a body was really for. It’s for ENJOYING life on earth. But how often is that what people truly do or choose with their bodies?
For years I would hear my stepfather Gary Douglas, founder of Access Consciousness®, say “You don’t truly have a choice about reincarnation until you totally have the greatness of embodiment”. I would wonder and wonder, what is the greatness of embodiment?
Up until that point I had not had so much fun with my body. I hardly ever appreciated it. You know when you look at pictures of you in the past and your like “Wow I looked so much better than I thought I did back then” and then you make the choice to appreciate your body now so you don’t miss out on how awesome it must be only you don’t quite feel that way about your body anyways?
And then there is all the pain. It was not until attending and facilitating my own Access 3 Day Body Classes that I even began to get that the body was a fun thing to have. It was the Access Hands-On Body Processes that began to give me a connection and joy with my body that I had never realised was possible.
I began to really get how aware my body was, and is, and that all the “pain” I was experiencing in my body was not my body’s. It was my body’s awareness of other bodies, including the Earth. I then began to ask, “Do I even want to be aware of how aware my body is”?
It seemed like every time I walked down the street the intensity of awareness my body and being were having were too much for me. So then I would “try” to shut off the awareness by avoiding being around people, by over eating, by putting barriers up to my and my bodies awareness, and of course, this ended up hurting even more. So one day I just said “to hell with it! I will give awareness a chance to show me another possibility. There has to be something else, there has to be.” Then, bit-by-bit, my body started getting happy. I was still aware of all the pain and suffering in all the bodies around me, but it didn’t have the impact it once did. I began sensing an explosive, ecstatic pleasure emerging from my stomach where before I had only had blocks and density.
I continued using the Access Body Processes and choosing to have a body (Oh! Did I mention choosing to actually have a body helps your body be happy?) and I realised how much energy I had been using against my body’s joy. I realised this was a behaviour I was taught by basically everyone else with a body. Nearly everyone on earth above the age of 12 deliberately limits the pleasure and joy their bodies have. Crazy!
What would our world be like if everyone was walking around enjoying their bodies, loving and caring for their bodies rather then judging and punishing them out of existence? What a totally different world!
What kind of world would you like to live in with your beautiful body?
What would a world where we honoured and regarded our body’s intelligence and awareness be like?
What would a world where bodies were honoured full stop be like?
I dare you to find out…………………………
To learn more about conscious embodiment with Shannon O'Hara please visit one of her body classes around the world: CLICK HERE to find out more
Access Consciousness® is available in 173 countries and has contributed to changing the lives of more than 30 thousand people around the world for the past 25 years. Delivered through seminars, tele-series, books, audios and consultations, what most people love about it is that it actually works!
Access Consciousness® offers you the tools and questions to create everything you desire in a different and easier way, and to change the things in your life that you haven’t been able to change until now. It empowers you to know that you know and provides you with ways to become totally aware and to begin to function as the conscious being you truly are.
These life-changing techniques, tools and processes are designed to empower you to create the life you desire. Practical, dynamic, and pragmatic, it provides step-by-step processes to facilitate you in being more conscious in every day life and eliminate all the barriers you have put up to receiving. Then life becomes an adventure of what would I like to choose? What would I like to create? How much fun can I have being alive?